You’ve got this. Wherever you are in the prep, know that it will turn out beautifully. It’s already good enough. Already beautiful and wonderful. Right now.

When you welcome family and friends into your home with a gracious and grateful heart, the rest is details. That apple pastry so gorgeous in the pan, can come out and fall apart into a sloppy, gloppy mess. The stuffing may be dry this year. A side dish can be forgotten in the oven or left behind. 

Laugh it off and keep on going.

And all will still be wonderful. 

No matter what. I promise.

Yes, hosting a family holiday takes planning, time and a lot of work.  

Still, the table runner and menu are details. They matter, but aren’t the most important things.

The most important detail to manage is your own stress. I’m speaking from experience here! These are all tips I’m using this year to keep myself and our family relaxed!

Staying Grounded

My husband and I have hosted two Thanksgiving dinners per year for the last several years. I love it — and I can get intensely focused on the details.

He keeps me grounded in what’s most important: Our family is together. What else matters more than that?

This year, I’m staying relaxed and loose. I’ve reflected, talked it over with my friends. By now, I know what works and what I need to do to stay relaxed. I’m determined.

15 Stress-Buster Tips

My 15 tips for battling hosting stress. I’m taping it to the cupboard for easy reference.

• Breathe. Pause for just 30 seconds and take the three biggest, deepest breaths you possibly can. You’ll feel better. 

• Forget about the magazine pictures. Ignore the home décor influencers on Instagram. Don’t compare yourself to big budgets, air-brushed food, professional decorators or talented amateurs. It’s not fair to yourself. Flowers + candles = lovely. Any colors. Any arrangement.

• Let go of perfect. Perfect is a killer of creativity and joy. Who wants that?

• The house will never be perfectly clean, all at once. 

• Don’t compare. Do your Thanksgiving your way. Beautifully, uniquely imperfect.

• Keep it in perspective. Step back from the to-do lists and tasks for a moment to look at the big picture. If a loved one is in the hospital, you already know what matters most. If you are together and healthy, this is already a great year.

• If you have lost a loved one, grief may sneak up and unexpectedly knock you over, even if you were “fine” a minute ago. Holidays seem to sharpen the ache of missing someone, and the first one may be especially awful. Be gentle with yourself. The pain of grief can be like a summer thunderstorm appearing out of nowhere, and unpredictable. Hang on. Let it sweep through. It will pass.

• Don’t skip the self-care. Self-care is so important for all of us, especially at holiday time when it’s tempting to skip and say “I don’t have time.” That’s when we need our self-care the most! My three daily must-dos: at least 15 minutes of yoga, a 10-minute free write and a short walk. Every day. Non-negotiable. What are your three daily must-dos?  

• Let people help. This year, I caught myself turning down help. Then I realized that part of what we do on holidays is celebrate and practice how our family functions. Everybody does their part and the whole of it is better and greater than the sum of its parts. Plus, people like to contribute. I course-corrected. This year, my grown stepsons are each bringing part of the meal. All I had to do was ask. Cool moment.

This year, I’m determined to enjoy it all, not rob myself of my own joy over the holiday. This year, my wish for all of us is to dance through Thanksgiving and then carry that grateful and gracious spirit into the rest of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving! From our family to yours.