Love Notes ~ Day 10

My mom and I argued during my raging teenage years about the usual stuff: What time I’d be home, whether I should go out at all that evening. I’d stomp off to my room to smolder and pout. 

After awhile, if she wasn’t furious with me, sometimes my mom would crawl up into the upstairs hallway on her hands and knees, pretending to be a frog.

She’d flick her tongue out and “RIBBIT,” already cracking herself up.

I’d open the door and try not to laugh. Often, I’d crack up, too.

At night, around my curfew, she would be standing at the dining room window watching the driveway. It drove me nuts.

Staying Home & Healthy

My mom celebrated her 74th birthday this week with my stepfather at home in Ohio, where they’ve spent every day of this last year. Typically, we see each other several times a year.

We’ve hugged once in 13 months, both masked, for a few moments during a September afternoon spent outside on the patio, surrounded by her garden.

It stinks. And plenty of people would be thrilled to have the chance to hug their moms again. So if this is what it takes to keep her and my stepfather healthy, then so be it.

Of all she has taught me, laughing and giggling, especially at yourself, has been top of mind these last few days. How we all need to laugh together again, in person. And just be silly and dance it out. Telling our stories in pairs and trios and quartets. Our gestures and energy ricocheting and expanding until laughing and squealing, knee-slapping and foot-stomping becomes a swirling squall you can almost see and definitely hear.

My father-in-law calls this a “hen party.” Yeah, I miss those, and the big parties with the men, too.

The best part of a big party is the “morning after,” when my mom and I drink a lot of coffee and re-live the funniest moments and dish about who said what to whom.

Lessons from a Mama Bear

She teaches me to be strong, work hard, be a good human — and a beautifully imperfect work-in-progress. (Read How One Tough Mama Raised a Strong Daughter.)

Because of her, every time I see a butterfly, owl or bird, I think of her and want to pick up the phone and call her. She raised me to appreciate and respect nature, science and public policy.

She taught me to delight in wonder of the natural world and in learning how it works.

She’s knows all my secrets, and is not shy about spooning out empathy — and tough love.

Mom-isms

• When I’m stuck: “Snap out of it! Wish I was there to give you a dope slap.”

• Since I met my husband: “Don’t screw it up!”

• If my husband is the least bit upset, about anything, she says: “Oh no. What did you do?”

• If I tell her something I messed up and say “Oh no. I’m going to hell … ” she says: “Nah. Not for THAT.”

Her wisdom and tough love helps keep me on track. Her silliness and giggles keep me from taking myself too seriously. We chuckle during the phone calls that will have to hold us over until we can once again laugh and giggle in person.